|
thousands_formylove
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: erin :)
Country: United States
State: Alabama
Metro: Montgomery
Birthday: 2/9/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: pursuing a love relationship with Christ - christian theology - writing - trying to be a good friend - great music - LIVE music - walking/jogging - good weather - hugs - people who smile - people who are fun loving and pleasant - people in general
Expertise: writing - hugs - smiling - meeting people
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
12/15/2004
|
|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| Your grace is sufficient for me,
Your strength is made perfect, when I am weak..
All that I cling to, I lay at your feet,
Your grace is sufficient for me.
--Shane & Shane
That is my prayer these days. And I'm like Bon Jovi, I'm livin' on a prayer.
My other prayer? "To live is Christ; to die is gain."
Apparently, things are as simple as that.
| | |
| I don't know what's wrong with me sometimes.
This summer is really getting to me in some ways, mostly with my mother. I just don't understand! Maybe if I was some crazy child who abandoned my family each and every day to go out with friends, or spend money like it grew on our trees, I would understand. But do you know what I do everyday? I take care of my grandmother. And somertimes, it drives me crazy. And just as I type that, tears start to pour from my eyes, because I am guilt stricken by how I feel about my family sometimes. I truly love my family, I do, they just sincerely drive me insane some days. I feel incredibly wretched.
I would never try to tell you that I am some super mature adult who doesn't need her family, or anything like that, but I am caught off guard when I return home from my sophomore year of college, to find that my mother treats me like I am even younger than when I graduated high school. I could understand her wanting to cling tighter, or spend more time with me if I was never around, but I am ALWAYS around. I am here all day! And for the most part, I deal with that. I try to find the most positive aspects of this situation, and embrace it, but it is not easy. And it is when my opportunities to escape are road blocked that it becomes so incredibly hard.
But, regardless of how much I want to assert myself in situations like this, the truth is this: I have the most guilty conscious you will ever hear of. If my mom and I fight, it takes (maximum amount of time) 30 minutes for my tears to go from tears of anger to tears of guilt and regret. I have these huge fears that I will fight with someone I care deeply about, and then they will die, with some hurtful word from my lips being the way we part. I have no comprehension of how I would handle that, as I think it would rip me apart, mind, body, and soul.
And that is why I cave. Tonight? I caved. I couldn't bear it. I had to humble myself, apologize for my attitude, yet still walk away with this wretched feeling. This heavy heart over the fact that it is so hard to bear my Grandmere, who raised me in the place of my father even though she didn't have to.... this heavy heart over the fact that I would wrinkle my nose in anger at my Mama who loves me so much.... this heavy heart at realizing that the people I love the most, are the hardest ones to show it to.
I just feel wretched
| | |
| i have found you sitting quietly in your eyes,
you are safe there and without want.
lying complacent in your self,
you know not what you can even dream.
bartering your heart for your breath,
a story of love and hope and trust,
falling silently as autumn leaves.
resting peacefully, content to decay.
you have gotten the best of me,
breaking your own heart, thus saving mine.
i must let you go, for in my heart does live
a dreamer, a lover: the you i did adore. | | |
| hey guys, in case you didn't know.... i know some super fantastic
musicians who go by the name of rush of fools, and i think you should
check them out.
their title track "undo" off their debut album is my current profile song on myspace (http://www.myspace.com/hislily12).
i do believe "undo" held the #1 spot on the billboard christian
contemporary charts for at least 6 weeks. also, if you're looking at my
myspace, i have them under my top friends, AND there is a web banner
for their contest under "music." "undo" is currently playing on way-fm
radio, so you might have already heard them! and soon, you can hear
their new single: "when our hearts sing" (my favorite song off the
cd!).
they've gotten a lot of attention, obviously based on
their warm hearts, musical talent, and raw passion to live lives worthy
of their calling. they've received attention thus far from (if i
remember correctly) some people who played in FFH (and now work with
their finances maybe?), leeland, etc. (don't hold me to that, i didn't
travel with them, haha!) they have already toured with by the tree
& the turning, which has been an amazing experience for them.
these
are really some truly amazing guys, and i can tell you honestly that
they live what they sing. proverbs 37:4 reads, "delight yourself in the
Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." it blesses me
more than i could ever put into words to see five men who have truly
delighted themselves in the Lord for so long, to finally live a dream
that is truly the desire of their heart. and more impressive? the
honest desire of their hearts is to serve God.
now.. with an advertisement like that, don't tell me you don't want to check them out!
oh,
& if you really like them... i have two of the "fools" in my
cellphone, so buy their cd, maybe a tshirt too, and i can probably get
you a few seconds on the phone to say that your investment was worth it
;) but, no guarantees.. they hardly talk to ME sometimes... being a
rockstar is busy work! ;)
thanks for reading. and to the fools: i basically love you guys!
 (the debut CD... just so that when you go to buy it, you can find it easily. :D buy it on their website very easily ( http://www.rushoffools.com)
or you can check out your local wal-mart, target, lifeway, or family
christian stores (but warning: they're almost always selling out...
because talent goes fast!) | | |
| Often I have spoken of career goals I have, some of which are the following:
--Stay in school until I achieve my doctorate
--Possibly teach on the collegiate level in the area of either theology or literature
--Work in editing or public relations for a publishing company
--Write Christian theology books
These are all pretty lofty goals, but I know that they're things I'm
passionate about, so I am pretty excited about them! Then, suddenly
about a week ago, I got really excited about a new goal that has
entered into my scope of dreams. You see, I've always been intrigued by
owning a coffee shop, bookstore, something like that, but recently I
have sort of started brainstorming more of a direction to go with it.
I have a strong passion for literature, and also a pretty huge passion
for the arts in general, ranging from movies, theatre, studio art, etc
so I'd like to open up a bookstore, but one that services the community
as sort of a wide array of advertising for the opportunities for local
art. Naturally, it would mainly focus on books and literature, but work
to serve the art community in general too, by not only advertising but
by selling tickets to local plays, art shows, etc if not maybe hosting
some of these events in the bookstore to serve as advertising that
speaks for itself. I would like it to be located in a downtown shopping
center of a distinguished city (even if it is a distinguished Southern
city), because I think that gives a classic ambience to a place and
attracts a great crowd. I'd like for it to range from being a perfect
place to browse during the day to being the host of many elegant night
parties, if you can picture that.
To get into details, I
interviewed a man for my interviewing class who said that anyone can
publish a book really, but the key to being a success is distribution
and advertising. With that said, I would really like for the bookstore
I open to cater to local writers who are just starting in the business
to get their names out to the community. I'd love to do monthly feature
writers, including a monthly book reading by the writer featured. I
think that by having these type of get togethers, cocktail parties,
whatever it would bring a crowd and get some spotlight on undiscovered
talent, especially if I did social networking with other local arts.
Furthermore, I'd like to stock a small amount of their books for a
certain amount of time and track how the buying rate goes, giving them
sort of a start off estimate on the likeability of their work so they
can get a picture of how the book will sell before they spend a lot of
time investing in and possibly distributing it to places like
Books-a-Million, etc where it might not get noticed. I think that would
be a great way to help out new writers, or at least I hope so. I'd
especially like to have a slight background in working for a publisher
(as aforementioned) and also partner with someone knowledgeable in
Business so that we can assist these new writers in making great career
moves. And, if I can do any networking with people from bigger cities
previous to owning this bookstore, I can pitch local writers to them
and hopefully help jump start careers.
Like I said, I am the
queen of lofty goals, but what can I say.. I am a walking piece of
passion and I get really excited about all the potential I think this
world offers. I have faith that God is going to do with me whatever He
wishes, even if it is a life of poverty, and that within that life God
will keep a smile on my face. Until God fully reveals that plan to me,
I will continue being a big dreamer and doing everything humanly
possible to achieve these goals and please God all along the way.
On a closing note, I've got to say it... if you guys are dreaming too,
as the philosophers Journey once sang, "Don't Stop Believin'!"
PS: These dreams don't exactly leave all worries behind me, but you gotta love Michael Buble anyway! | | |
|
